On Self-Awareness: Your Emotional Intelligence
When it comes to success and happiness in your life, emotional intelligence matters just as much as intellectual intelligence.
Let’s discuss a topic that's increasingly recognized as a cornerstone of professional success: Emotional Intelligence (also known as EI or EQ). In any dynamic landscape, being smart about your emotions is just as important as your academic, operational, strategic, or technical know-how.
What Makes A Person “Smart”?
The theory of intelligence (the characteristics, structure, and nature of what makes a person smart) has a long history dating back to the ancient Greeks. Plato and Aristotle believed intelligence is comprised of three components: intellect, sentiment, and will. The word intelligence is derived from two Latin words: “intelligentia” (understanding and knowledge) and “ingenium” (talent and natural predisposition).
While the theory of intelligence has evolved steadily over the past thousand years, our current understanding was articulated in 1983 by Howard Gardner. His Theory of Multiple Intelligences was among the first to reject the idea that intelligence was limited to mental abilities. He asserted that the scope of intelligence was a much larger array of abilities. The theory outlines eight types of intelligence:
Understanding Emotional Intelligence
What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways. This helps to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.
The ability to perceive, evaluate, and manage emotions in yourself and others connects both emotion and cognition.
Emotional intelligence is made up of many elements across five dimensions:
· Self Awareness
· Self-Regulation
· Motivation
· Empathy
· Social Skills
People with high EQ believe that they are “in touch” with their feelings and can regulate their emotions in a way to promote successful outcomes. These people may enjoy higher levels of happiness, better social relationships, and a more positive outward perception with others.
Why Emotional Intelligence Matters
Emotional intelligence can provide many positive benefits. When it comes down to it, study after study point to the same outcome: when it comes to success and happiness in your life, EQ matters just as much as intellectual intelligence.
With EQ, you can acknowledge, accept, and manage your emotions and reactions, as well as develop an ability to perceive and influence the emotions of other people. High EQ is also correlated with higher-level reasoning, memory, attention, and decision-making.
In the workplace, this looks like stronger teamwork, more effective leadership, and improved relationships with your colleagues and peers.
Important to note: EQ is not about suppressing your emotions or reactions, but about understanding and channeling them constructively.
Developing Your Emotional Intelligence
When assessing and developing your EQ, look critically at each of the five dimensions:
Self-Awareness
This involves recognizing your emotions and their impact on your thoughts and behavior, as well as understanding the impact your emotions have on others. To evaluate your emotional self-awareness, ask yourself:
· How easy is it to express your feelings?
· How easy is it to say ‘no’ when you want to?
· How happy you are with the type of person you are?
· How easy is it to understand how you feel?
Self-Management
This involves controlling impulsive feelings and behaviors, managing your emotions in healthy ways, taking initiative, and following through on commitments. This is about anticipating consequences before acting on impulse. To evaluate your emotional self-management, ask yourself:
· Can you handle stress without getting too anxious?
· Once you start talking, is it difficult to stop?
· Can others depend on you?
· Do you understand the contextually appropriate times to share your emotions?
Motivation
This involves harnessing emotions to achieve goals, enjoying the learning process, and persevering in the face of obstacles; these are often motivated by things beyond external rewards like fame, money, or recognition. To evaluate your emotional motivations, ask yourself:
· Are you a follower or a leader?
· Are you a fairly cheerful or optimistic person?
· How do you feel about solving tough problems?
· Can you maintain your focus despite your emotional state?
Empathy
Empathy is about understanding other people's emotions and perspectives. This is crucial in forming healthy relationships, practicing compassion, and leading effectively. To evaluate your capacity for empathy, ask yourself:
· Are you sensitive to the feelings of others?
· How difficult is it to change your opinion about things?
· Do you put emotions to the side to provide care to others?
Social Skills
This includes managing relationships, inducing a desired response from others, and inspiring them. This is often seen in skills like effective communication, conflict management, and teamwork. To evaluate your social skills, ask yourself:
· How do you find meaning in your day to day?
· Do you inspire others to act?
· Can you predict others’ responses based on their emotional cues?
· How much effort does it take to fit in with your peers?
The EQ Advantage
Embracing and enhancing your EQ can significantly enhance your professional and personal life. It's about more than just getting along with others; it’s about understanding yourself and those around you, understanding the context of your present circumstances, navigating the complexities of human emotions, and leveraging your understandings for a collective success.
In leadership, EQ helps in understanding and balancing team dynamics and motivating employees
In teamwork, EQ fosters collaboration and conflict resolution
In client relations, EQ aids in understanding client needs and building trust
In the tapestry of your career, EQ is a thread that adds strength and cohesion to your interactions and relationships with others, including your peers, colleagues, managers, prospects, and clients.
Action Plan for Your Emotional Intelligence
Understanding your capacity for EQ (AKA your ability to connect, empathize, and build trust with others) requires ongoing assessment, reflection, and action. The steps for action are below, or you can utilize The Self-Awareness Workbook from Notes from the Field. Simply download this document, review the examples provided, and follow the path outlined to better identify, evaluate, and develop your EQ.
Step One: Evaluate Your Emotional Intelligence:
Task: Assess your current level of EQ using a reliable tool or questionnaire. We recommend the Schuette Emotional Intelligence Scale.
Objective: Gain a baseline understanding of your EQ strengths and areas for improvement.
Step Two: Reflect and Identify Specific EQ Areas That Need Focus
Task: Based on the assessment, pinpoint specific EQ aspects to focus on, such as empathy, self-regulation, or social skills.
Objective: Target EQ development efforts effectively.
Step Three: Seek Feedback from Colleagues and Supervisors
Task: Request constructive feedback on your EQ in workplace interactions.
Objective: Obtain an external perspective on your EQ application in professional settings.
Step Four: Develop and Implement EQ Improvement Strategies
Task: For each targeted EQ area, develop specific strategies or practices to improve, such as mindfulness exercises for self-awareness or active listening for empathy.
Objective: Enhance your EQ in the workplace.
Step Five: Commit to Learning & Development Opportunities
Task: Participate in EQ-related workshops, seminars, or training.
Objective: Gain deeper insights and practical skills in EQ.
Step Six: Practice & Apply EQ Skills in Daily Situations
Task: Consciously apply EQ strategies in daily interactions, meetings, and decision-making processes.
Objective: Practice and integrate EQ skills in real workplace scenarios.
Step Seven: Reflect on Interactions and Progress
Task: Regularly reflect on your interactions and situations where EQ was applied. Maintain a journal for this purpose and re-assessment.
Objective: Self-assess progress and understand the impact of EQ in your work.
Step Eight: Celebrate Improvements and Successes
Task: Recognize and celebrate instances where enhanced EQ positively impacted your work.
Objective: Reinforce the importance of EQ and motivate continued growth.
More Resources on Your Emotional Intelligence
Want to dive deeper into this topic? We recommend:
Read
Book: "Working with Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman
This book focuses on the application of EQ in the workplace. It provides a clear and practical guide to mastering emotional intelligence, showing its importance in leadership and professional success. The book offers strategies for improving EQ at an individual and organizational level.
Book: "Emotional Intelligence 2.0" by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves
This book offers a step-by-step program for increasing your EQ via four core EQ skills: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. It includes an online assessment to help you identify your EQ level and provides strategies for improving each of the skills.
Article: Feeling Smart: The Science of Emotional Intelligence
Ten years after the appearance of that bestselling book and a TIME magazine cover that asked "What's your EQ?" it seems sensible to ask what is known, scientifically, about emotional intelligence. In the history of modern psychology, the concept represents a stage in the evolution of our thinking about the relation between passion and reason and represents an important outgrowth of new theories of intelligence.
Listen
Podcast Episode: Daniel Goleman – Emotional Intelligence 101
Do you have a good sense of how others see the world? Psychologist, journalist and best-selling author Daniel Goleman discusses his ground-breaking research on emotional intelligence. Goleman explains how we can enhance and manage our emotions to expand our brain capacity. As a pioneer in the emotional and social intelligence movement, Goleman's research changed the way we look at what it means to be smart. He illustrates how people can sharpen their emotional intelligence to improve their relationships, work, and even the empathy they have for others.
Podcast Episode: Boost Your Emotional Intelligence with Empathy
Cultivating empathy is crucial in developing solid relationships in our personal and professional lives, but what exactly is it, how is it different from sympathy, why did Michael Ventura found a company based on it, and what steps can we start taking today to work on it?
Watch
Interview: The Science of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Daniel Goleman talks emotional intelligence and the four components and how we can develop these skills in our daily lives. In this interview: the four components of emotional intelligence, how to develop them, and why these skills matter so much; empathy and relationship management in the age of Zoom; The “marshmallow test” and impulse control; a phenomenon called “amygdala hijacks”
Video: No Stupid Questions – Is Emotional Intelligence Really So Important?
What is emotional intelligence, and is it really so important? New York City mayor Eric Adams seems to think so. As he began his term, he said his top criterion in making appointments would be that candidates have high emotional intelligence. But how do you quantify emotional intelligence? And does it correlate to competence? Which is more important, EQ or IQ? Should you hire someone smart, or someone who’s good with people? And does emotional intelligence have a dark side?
Take Action
The Self-Awareness Playbook by Notes from the Field
Ready to deepen your self-awareness? Engage with the modules outlined in the playbook to understand, develop, and track your own self-awareness.
The Self-Awareness Journal by Notes from the Field
Self-awareness is a continuous journey. Our weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annual journal templates are available in Notion to deepen the connection and evolve your own self-awareness.
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